Ever since I was a child, whenever someone asked about my hobbies, I would say reading. While some people genuinely enjoy reading as a hobby, I didn't have any hobbies I could proudly share. There was a brief period in middle school when I was into detective novels, but up until high school, I didn't have anything that I could call a hobby. In college, if I had to pick something, it would be billiards and video games, and during my working life, it was computer games. However, I felt embarrassed to talk about these and thought it would undermine my image, so I lied to myself and others, claiming that reading was my hobby since it seemed respectable and unnoticeable if I didn't actually do it.
The funny thing is, to turn this lie into the truth, I started reading books. I brainwashed myself into believing that I enjoyed reading, forcing myself to pick up books. Over time, the books I read filled up two walls of my room. Still, I don't consider reading to be my hobby. Honestly, I read more to show off than for my own enjoyment.
So what is a hobby? If a hobby is something you do in your leisure time outside of work, then the activities I mentioned could be considered my hobbies. But if a hobby is something you have a genuine interest in and enjoy doing outside of work, then it's accurate to say I don't have a hobby. The activities I listed were mostly just ways to pass the time rather than something I genuinely enjoyed. Perhaps I should have learned to play a musical instrument before it was too late. Having a hobby like playing the violin or piano would seem more sophisticated, wouldn't it? Drawing also seems like a good option.
Come to think of it, there is something I've recently found enjoyable: using AI and programs to design. Although my skills are still quite amateurish, I find it fun and can lose track of time while doing it. I've even uploaded some of my designs to eBay, though none have sold. But if I find joy in the activity itself, couldn't this be considered a hobby? Then I suddenly wonder: am I doing this to show off to someone as well? When will I ever be completely free from the eyes of others?