Very few things actually went as planned.

Life, as always felt, flows regardless of my intentions. No matter how meticulously I plan and prepare, even if I feel that each moment is going according to plan, in retrospect, I realize that very few things actually went as planned.

 

However, the fact that nothing went according to plan does not mean you should live without any plans. In my twenties, I did just that. During a time when I could have had the most diverse experiences and was at a critical starting point for my future life, I let my twenties pass by meaninglessly. As a result, I had to pay the price in my thirties.

The fact that nothing goes as planned means that even if life doesn’t go as you intended, you shouldn’t blame yourself or feel too distressed. The actions you take with certain intentions and purposes may lead to different outcomes than you planned. However, doing nothing at all would result in wasting your most valuable asset, time, without any gains.

 

My twenties, which I judge to have been spent meaninglessly, did not leave me with nothing. In hindsight, though it was a regretful time, there must have been lessons I unconsciously learned within that period. Having sprinted through life up to my mid-forties, now nearing fifty, I find myself facing a new question as I look back: How should I live the remaining years of my life?

 

Living for others makes both yourself and others unhappy. A life sacrificed for the entire family (or thinking you are sacrificing for them) is not ideal. Living for others, such as family, appears morally right and seems like the ultimate goal in life. However, we are not saints like Jesus. Living such a life is likely to bring results contrary to your intentions. The one who gets the most hurt from these unexpected results is yourself, and sometimes you might even become the target of blame because of those results. How miserable would it be to be blamed by the people you thought you dedicated your whole life to?

Place yourself at the center of your life. This does not mean to be selfish. It means to value your life as precious as the lives of those you love. The meaning of our lives expands from taking care of and loving ourselves.